


All About Your Heart

by Koneko713



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate universe--no-one dies, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Non-Graphic Violence, Porn With Plot, Sibling Incest, mentioned Bilbo/Thorin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-01
Updated: 2013-06-01
Packaged: 2017-12-13 15:11:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/825738
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Koneko713/pseuds/Koneko713
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everyone survived the Battle of Five Armies, but not everyone has recovered completely.  Fili is still hiding things from his brother, and Kili is determined to find out what.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All About Your Heart

**Author's Note:**

  * For [totallyttk](https://archiveofourown.org/users/totallyttk/gifts).



> Alternate title: Dumb Babies  
> For [Tally](http://timmyttk.tumblr.com), from the author auction. The exact prompt was:  
> After battle of five armies  
> Fili was hurt badly  
> Kili made it out fairly unscathed  
> Since then Fili’s been self-conscious about his wounds  
> So he’s kept himself partially clothed all the time  
> And finally lets Kili see the scars  
> And Kili feels so guilty and lavishes attention on them and sexytimes ensue
> 
> Written while listening to All About Your Heart by Mindy Gledhill

_A full year since the battle,_ Kili reflected, closing his eyes and breathing deeply to quell his mounting frustration, _a full year and nothing has healed._

Really, he didn’t like thinking about the battle that storytellers had started calling the Battle of Five Armies.  He himself hadn’t been hurt beyond minor scratches, scrapes, and bruises.  Fili, on the other hand, had been in the very thickest part of the fighting, and had not escaped unscathed.  Kili had killed the warg that brought his brother down, but not in time to save Fili.

It took Fili days to wake up, weeks to walk again, and weeks longer to regain any use of his right arm.  At the time Kili was overjoyed, grateful just to have his brother back with him, and relatively whole.

It took him a while to realize there was something very wrong with Fili.

The first thing was the time he went to help his bandaged and stiff brother bathe.  The pair had never had any body-shyness, not with each other, but Fili immediately tensed when Kili went to remove his shirt, and jerked away with a hiss of pain.

“I’ll do it myself.  Please leave,” he murmured, refusing to look Kili in the eye.

“You can barely stand!  Let me help you,” Kili reached out to him, hurt jolting through him as Fili dodged his hands again.  “Please, Fili, I don’t think you’re weak or anything, alright?  Just let me help you.”

Fili looked away and down, but still wouldn’t let Kili touch him.  “I know I’m not weak,” he said quietly, sounding so broken that Kili didn’t argue, but left him alone until Fili called for help getting back to his bed.  When he reentered the bathing room he found that Fili had already pulled a clean shirt over his head, and the elder looked up at him defiantly, as if daring him to comment.  Kili didn’t, supporting the majority of Fili’s weight down the hall, back to his sickroom.

He didn’t realize the extent of the damage until after Fili was finally well enough to move from the healers’ wing into the quarters the pair had claimed as their own before the battle.  The suite included two bedrooms, more for the sake of politics than anything else.  Thorin knew about and approved of their relationship, as did most of the Company, but there was no telling how outsiders from other kingdoms may react.  Kili had headed for his room immediately, and did his best to quell the flash of fear and disappointment as Fili entered the other.  Kili curled up on his side of the large, empty bed—the left, he always took the left side by habit now, even when Fili wasn’t there—and cried for the first time since Fili woke up.

He’d extinguished the last candle and was nearly asleep when a frantic mouth on his jolted him out of his doze.  Fili virtually attacked him with tongue and teeth, and Kili reached up immediately to yank his brother into his bed, heedless, for the moment, of Fili’s wounds.

That night it was all hurried, hard, and desperate, and it was a good thing Fili wasn’t quite recovered yet or doubtless more people would have noticed him walking funny the next day.  And that night Kili had already started chafing at the new rules to their relationship.

First, darkness.  Kili didn’t mind doing it in the dark, as it meant every other sense was filled with nothing but _Fili_.  However, he did love to _see_ his brother as well, watch the way Fili’s eyes darkened and rolled up with pleasure, and the way his mouth dropped open and his muscles quivered when he came.

Second, even as Fili’s hands roamed over every inch of Kili’s skin, apparently reassuring himself that the archer was still whole, Kili was not allowed to touch.  Subsequent careful explorations revealed that the forbidden area extended from Fili’s shoulders and collarbone down to his navel.  Everything else was fair, and Kili lavished licks and kisses and nips wherever he was permitted.

Third, Fili’s shirt stayed on during sex, and Kili didn’t get to see Fili without it otherwise either.  After a week of slipping through Kili’s door after Kili snuffed his last candle and departing in the morning before the lights were lit again, Fili finally consented to simply move in.  Still, he wouldn’t even change in there when Kili was asleep, because of the chance that Kili may wake up and see.

Kili was horribly confused.  “I thought you would be proud of your scars, brother,” he grumbled when Fili pulled away from his touch _again_ , a month later _._   He reached stubbornly, and got fingernails driven into the sensitive nerves of his wrist for it.  “Fili!  Fine.  But at least tell me why you won’t let me see,” he muttered, drawing back his hand and sucking on his abused skin to ease the pain.

“I don’t see any reason to be proud of ugly scars, that’s all,” Fili said quietly, rolling over and putting his back to his brother, clearly attempting to end the conversation.

“Ugly scars?  I don’t know what you’re talking about.  You don’t have ugly scars.  Take Dwalin for example.  _Those_ are ugly scars!”

Fili growled at him.  Kili took any response at all as being better than the silent treatment that he usually got when he asked about the swordsman’s wounds, and so he continued.

“Not to mention that, even if you did have ugly scars, it’s not like you don’t tease me about my looks all the time.  At least you still have a beard, and have never been mistaken for some kind of shrunken elf!  So you’ll be the ugly scarred dwarf, and I’m the ugly elf.  We’ll be ugly together!”  He’d meant it as a joke, but then Fili turned and looked at him, clearly shocked and hurt, and he immediately wished he’d kept his mouth shut. 

Fili didn’t even _say_ anything, just staring at him with eyes so wide and pained, and he reached out without thinking to yank him close and tuck the shorter dwarf’s head under his chin.  “I’m sorry, Fee.  You know I didn’t mean it.  I wouldn’t ever think you were ugly, no matter what happened to you.”

No response, other than Fili pressing against him hard enough that Kili could get an idea of the shape of the scars he wasn’t allowed to see, grooves and knots outlined against his chest through the thin fabric of Fili’s shirt.  “You don’t have to show me,” he whispered, running his hands slowly up the _outside_ of Fili’s clothing to hold him close.  “Not until you’re ready.  And I won’t try to see them without your permission.  I promise.”

That had been a year ago.  A year of ever-mounting tension and, in Kili’s case, sexual frustration. They no longer had the kind of effortless intimacy they had enjoyed for the last couple of decades.  Fili’s behavior was completely erratic, unpredictable from day to day and even hour to hour.  Sometimes he was determined to have Kili at his side whenever the younger didn’t have something else requiring his attention, other times he spent days stubbornly avoiding his brother.  Kili eventually recognized the way Fili was acting.  However, last time Fili had acted like this, Kili later found out it was because he had realized his attraction to his younger brother and panicked until he found out it was mutual.  Of course, that couldn’t be it this time, and Kili couldn’t fathom what might be bothering his brother that deeply.

Fili was pulling away in other ways as well.    Prior to the battle the pair had been near insatiable when it came to each other, which had led to some difficulties at times.  Bilbo still turned red at any mention of the Incident of the Missing Ponies (as Thorin called it), and had ever since he found out exactly how those ponies had been carried off without anyone noticing.  Lately, however, the times Fili came up behind him to grind against his arse and nibble at his neck, whispering filthy things that always ended in a tumble, were few and far between.  Even then it was hurried and clumsy, groping over clothes in the dark.  On the occasions that Kili’s patience finally ran out and he tried to interest Fili in a quick romp in the training rooms or out of doors, Fili wouldn’t have any of it.  Kili hadn’t been subjected to any kind of forced celibacy in years, and swiftly learned that he did not care for it one bit.

He tried not to push, really he did.  He drew on reserves of patience that he hadn’t known he possessed, and that others would probably never believe of him.  He didn’t bring it up again, didn’t try to touch, didn’t try to look.  And in that those long months absolutely nothing had changed.

            This particular afternoon Fili had pounced on him as soon as they made it back to their rooms after lunch, tumbling both of them into the bed with wandering hands, only to jerk away when Kili’s fingers brushed over the hem of his shirt, and Kili lost it completely.  He sat up, glowering at his brother, who had gone cold where moments ago he was warm and pliant, and finally snarled, “You have to let me see eventually!”

“No I don’t, Kili.” Fili said, voice flat and emotionless, straightening his clothes and tugging his braids back into place.  “And I’m not planning to.”

“Why not?  I don’t understand.”  It came out far more plaintive than he’d meant it to, and Kili scowled his frustration.

Fili raised an eyebrow at him and didn’t respond, busily re-lacing his loosened breeches.  Kili growled at him and, when that garnered no response, shoved him hard.  Fili’s half-huffed exclamation of surprise was cut off as Kili sat heavily on his abdomen and pinned his wrists at his sides.

“You have to at least tell me why,” he informed his brother, who didn’t even bother trying to escape, just glared up at him.

“Kili…” he said warningly.  Kili used his grip on his wrists to give him a completely ineffective shake, and Fili clenched his jaw shut.

“What are you so afraid of me knowing, Fili?” he demanded.

That finally got a more violent reaction.  “I’m not afraid of anything,” Fili snapped, sitting up and easily dislodging his brother.

“Yes you are.  You are, or you would let me see.  You’re being a coward, Fee.”  Kili knew instantly he’d gone too far.  Fili snarled as he tackled him, eyes bright and teeth bared.  Kili froze under his weight, and at the dangerous look his brother was leveling at him.

“I can’t…I don’t…I’m not…I…” Fili gave a sudden wail, rolling off him so violently that his fingers were accidentally caught in Kili’s hair and yanked hard.  Kili stayed limp and unmoving, not sure what to do with the broken words or the agonized sound.  Fili curled up at the edge of the bed, feet braced on the floor as he leaned over, burying his hands in his own hair and pulling.

Kili sat up cautiously, reaching out to grip Fili’s shoulder.  For a split second he’d caught a glimpse of the old Fili, fighting the same way they used to.  Admittedly, what they were fighting over was more serious than usual, but for just a moment it had been _familiar_.  So few things had been, lately.  It was better than this broken…shell that was shaking before him now.

“Fee?” he asked quietly.  No response at all.  He pressed himself along Fili’s back, moving slowly to make sure the other knew exactly what he was doing.  Fili’s shoulders were broader than his, but he was taller and could use his height to full advantage curling around his brother, sheltering and comforting him.  “Fili.”

“You’re right.”  The words were muffled, spoken into Fili’s palms.  “You’re right, I’m being a coward.”

Kili wanted to argue, wanted to reassure Fili, but he couldn’t think of any way to gracefully take back his words.  And he couldn’t honestly say that he didn’t believe them.  He settled for tightening his grip around Fili’s shoulders, pressing kisses to the back of his neck and waiting for Fili to continue.

“I’m scared, Kili,” he finally whispered, refusing to look at his brother, dropping his hands to his lap and staring fixedly straight ahead.

“What are you scared of?” Kili asked.  He knew it had to have something to do with him, since there wasn’t anything else that could be remotely frightening about their life now.  Thorin was king, and probably would be for a good many years.  The mountain was reclaimed, the dragon dead, the goblins scattered.

For long moments Fili didn’t respond, and when he finally did it was with a completely incomprehensible mumble.  Kili huffed a sigh in his ear, nudging gently with his nose.  “Can’t understand you, Fee.”

Fili’s next try wasn’t much better, though one word was loud enough for Kili to hear: “ruined”.  Kili immediately scrambled up off the bed, folding himself onto his knees between Fili’s legs.  Now Fili’s automatic response of looking down just had him staring straight into wide brown eyes.

“Fili.  What’s ruined?” he asked, surprised that his voice wasn’t shaking.  He didn’t _think_ he could have ruined something, could he?

Fili shook his head, trying to avoid Kili’s gaze, and the archer gripped his chin to hold him in place.  Finally, in a strangled gasp: “me”.

There followed a long silence.  Kili was at a complete loss for words, gaping up at his brother.  Fili was _shaking_ , full-body shudders that clattered his teeth together audibly.  Bright spots of color flamed in his cheeks, and he still wouldn’t meet Kili’s eyes.  Kili gnawed on the inside of his cheek until he tasted blood, the pain drawing him out of the spiraling guilt and doubt.

He reached for Fili’s limp hand, taking it between both of his own and pressing it to his lips, keeping it there until Fili’s trembling began to ease.  “Why would you say you’re ruined?”

Fili shook his head, a smile lifting one corner of his mouth.  “There’s no way you’re going to drop this and go back to what we were doing, is there?” he muttered, clearly trying to joke.

Kili glared at him, not amused.  “No.  Because you’re hurting both of us with this, and it needs to stop, now.”

With a long sigh, Fili lifted Kili’s hands to his lips, kissing his knuckles one by one, apparently stabilizing himself.  “Do you remember what you used to call me?  When we were little?”

Kili blinked at him, then wracked his brain for the answer.  “…Fee?” he finally guessed, smiling when Fili let out a quiet snort.

“No, not that.  You still call me that, if you hadn’t noticed.”  Kili stuck his tongue out at his brother, getting another laugh against his fingers.  “After mother explained to you that we were princes, even princes without a kingdom, you started it.  You called me your perfect golden prince.”

“Oh.  Yes.”  Kili blinked.  _That_ was what Fili meant.  When had he stopped calling his brother that?  It was recently, he knew that much.  He used to call Fili that in his warm afterglow, making a point of it after every time they made love whether it had been long, slow and loving, or fast intense fucking.  When had he forgotten?

Fili wasn’t done.  “You know, the first time I realized that, maybe, just maybe, you might feel the same as me was when we were training with Dwalin one day.  I got overheated, took my shirt off.  You should have seen your face!”

Kili laughed, pulling one hand away to awkwardly rub the back of his neck.  “You noticed that?”

“Everyone noticed, Kee.  You were probably the least subtle dwarf in the world.  You never did stop making that stunned face whenever you saw me shirtless.  Dwalin told me I had to keep all clothing _on_ in the training ring so he wouldn’t accidentally kill you while you were gaping at me,” Fili laughed when Kili pouted at him.  Kili was relieved to feel the blond’s muscles loosening slowly from his tight-wound state.  “And remember when we finally stopped dancing around each other—“

“When you finally pulled your head out of your arse and realized that I was serious about what I’d been saying for months, you mean,” Kili interrupted, accepting the chastising tug on his hair as being perfectly fair.

“Whatever.  Do you remember the first thing you said to me after that?”

Kili grinned.  He remembered every detail of that day.  “You asked me if I was sure I loved you.  I said ‘of course I love you.  You’re perfect.’  But I don’t understand what this has to do with anything.”

“Don’t you?” Fili murmured, finger-combing Kili’s hair.  Kili leaned into the touch with a small sigh; it was the most innocent, simple affection he’d had from his brother in a long time.  “I was always perfect to you, Kili.  Even when I wasn’t perfect to anyone else, you always said I was perfect.  You have a truly horrendous vocabulary, brother, you always went back to that word.”

“Well, since it’s true…” Kili grinned, but Fili was withdrawing again.

“It _was_ true.  You haven’t seen…you don’t know…”

Kili lifted his head from where he’d rested it on Fili’s knee.  “That’s why you won’t let me see?  You think you aren’t perfect anymore?”

“Forget perfect.  I’m _ruined_ , Kili.  If I let you see, you’ll…you’ll never want me again.”

Kili blinked, stared, blinked again, and still was completely stunned.  “ _That’s_ what’s been bothering you?”

Fili scowled, trying to pull his hand back, but Kili grabbed it and wouldn’t let go.  “You haven’t seen them, Kili.  If you did…you’d see that you were wrong, you’d find someone better…”

Kili surged to his feet, still positioned firmly between Fili’s thighs, gripping his brother’s chin to force blue eyes up.

“You really think that?” he asked quietly.  The way Fili’s eyes flickered down and to the side guiltily was answer enough.  “And people think you’re the smart one between us.”

Fili glanced up.  “You’ve always liked my looks, I know that.  And I know that’s not all that you love me for but what if everything else isn’t enough?”

“You can be so incredibly dense,” Kili moaned, crossing his arms across his chest and bringing one hand up to rub his stinging eyes.  “Fili, you’re my One.  We belong together, and nothing can ever change that.  There will never be someone ‘better’ for me, and I don’t want there to be.  The way you look won’t ever change that.  I mean, look at Bilbo!”

Fili blinked at the sudden change of subject.  “What about Bilbo?”

“He’s a _hobbit._   And have you seen Thorin complaining?”  Fili shrugged.

“Because he doesn’t.  Because it doesn’t _matter._ He’s Thorin’s One, just like you’re mine, and I’m yours.  And nothing—“ he grabbed Fili’s chin again when his brother tried to look away, “ _nothing_ will ever change that.  Understand?”

Fili whimpered, leaning forward to wrap his arms around Kili’s waist, pressing his face into Kili’s stomach.  Kili clenched his hands in Fili’s hair, holding and stroking as Fili shook against him.  “I still think you’re perfect. ”

“How?” Fili’s voice was quiet but steady.  “How could you think that?  You haven’t seen—“

“Then let me see,” Kili said, ignoring the way Fili’s arms tightened convulsively around him.  “Let me see so I can prove it.”

The blond shook his head, ruffling his hair against Kili’s clothes.  “Alright, you don’t have to show me right away, but let me prove that you’re still all I could ever want.”

Fili thought for a moment before nodding slowly, jerkily, face still pressed into the fabric.  Kili carded his fingers into Fili’s hair, working his way down to the ends and pulling the clasps of his braids free.  “You don’t have anything to do this afternoon, do you?” he asked as he gently unraveled the plaits, working one-handed on either side of Fili’s head.  “That’s why you jumped me, right?”

Fili nodded again, still not confident enough to speak, though Kili was heartened by the way his brother leaned into his touch.  He tugged lightly, pulling Fili’s head back until he could undo the braids of his mustache as well.  Fili’s eyes were closed, and he couldn’t seem to look at him, but Kili couldn’t resist stepping back and bending to press a kiss to his lips.  “Still amazing,” he whispered against Fili’s mouth, submitting to a deeper kiss.

At last he tore himself away, before the kiss could turn into something rushed and clumsy.  That’s not what either of them needed right now.  He stepped back before Fili could trap him with his legs, hopping onto the bed and pulling Fili back with a grip on his hips.  He went willingly, settling between Kili’s spread legs and leaning back into his brother’s embrace  “Let me touch?” Kili asked, hands hovering over Fili’s sides, occasionally brushing through the light fabric of his shirt.

He couldn’t see Fili’s face from this angle, and that was on purpose.  He was giving Fili what privacy he could with his thoughts, even though it meant he couldn’t tell what was going through his brother’s mind when he asked.  After a long frozen moment, Fili nodded.

Kili started by gripping Fili’s shoulders outside his shirt, gently massaging the cords of tension at the base of his neck.  They tightened further as Kili’s right hand brushed lightly over twisted scar tissue, hidden beneath his shirt, but he slowly relaxed as Kili focused his attentions lower, working his way down the swordsman’s back.

Kili dug his thumbs in on either side of Fili’s spine, rubbing through the fabric, down to dip his fingers into the dimples of his back, just above the swell of his arse.  Fili groaned and wriggled back against him, clearly trying to urge his hands lower, and Kili complied just long enough to slip his fingers inside Fili’s shirt and run them up to his shoulders again.  Fili stiffened at the direct contact, and Kili returned to working the knots from his muscles.

“Fili, relax.  If you tell me to stop, I will.  But you need this,” he whispered against Fili’s neck as his hands reached his hips again.  This time he traced around to Fili’s front, following the lines and planes of muscle beneath the skin.

Kili knew, from unfortunate personal experience, what happened to a dwarf’s musculature through forced leisure.  It seemed that Fili had been training enough that he’d regained his muscle tone, and Kili hummed his appreciation as he traced the dips and swells.

“I missed doing this,” he murmured, splaying his hands against Fili’s stomach and pressing his brother back against him more firmly.  “And my favorite part…” He traced the thin line of curls from Fili’s navel down to the waistband of his breeches, tugging the ties loose as quickly as he could before dipping his fingers lower.  Fili groaned, shifting his hips indecisively as if he didn’t know whether to push into the touch or flee it.  Kili traced down to the creases of his hips, pressing and enjoying the way Fili squirmed at the ticklish sensation.

“Excellent, that’s still the same,” Kili purred, nibbling at the blond’s earlobe.  “You’ve been so twitchy whenever I touched you, I couldn’t tell if my favorite reactions were still there.  Like this, for example.”  He ran his fingers rapidly up to Fili’s chest, ignoring the unfamiliar scar tissue that passed beneath his touch in order to run teasingly over a nipple.  Fili jerked in his grip with a whimper at the sudden sensation, but didn’t try to pull away.

“So perfect, Fee,” Kili continued, indulging in a slow roll of his hips against his brother’s arse, slightly surprised at how quickly his arousal from earlier had returned with that noise.  “I wish you would let me hear you all the time.  You sound so wonderful.”

“You make enough noise for both of us I thi—“ Fili’s voice rose to end on an undignified squeak as Kili pinched mercilessly at the nipple between his fingers before rubbing gently at the abused flesh.  Fili _mewled_ , dropping his head back onto Kili’s shoulder, turning to bury his nose in dark hair.  He squirmed into the touch, whining quietly, eyes squeezed shut with the intensity from a year without such attention.

Kili grinned, leaning to kiss his open panting mouth, hissing as Fili pressed back hard into the kiss, using the pressure to ground himself against the sharp spike of combined lust and love.  He had desperately missed this, making his brother fall apart under his touch.  But he couldn’t indulge yet; he had more that he had to do to convince Fili.

When the kiss became deeper, tongues tangling briefly, he pulled away, nudging Fili’s cheek with his nose until his brother groaned in disappointment and faced forward again.  He nosed his way through thick blond hair to press kisses to the back of Fili’s neck as he shifted his attention to the left side of Fili’s chest.

He’d been surprised earlier, when his fingers hadn’t encountered a sensitive pebbling nub but instead bounced lightly over deep ridges and grooves.  Tracing the scar with both hands proved that it ran from Fili’s left shoulder down to the base of his ribs on the right.  It was a series of four gaping, ragged gouges, doubtless the marks of the warg’s claws.

Kili ran along the deep marks with his right hand, first with the pads of his fingers then with light fingernails.  Fili shuddered at the feeling, whining low in his throat.

“Good or bad, Fee?”  Kili asked, repeating the motion a little harder, stopping instantly and pressing apologetic kisses to Fili’s neck when the elder jerked and let out a small yelp.

“That hurt!  Before it was…it was good,” Fili whimpered, quivering again under Kili’s touch.  The archer traced the tracks of the wargs claws again, varying pressure to pull different sounds from his brother.  He mentally catalogued every noise, every twitch, until he knew exactly what drove Fili wildest.

“Sensitive?” he asked unnecessarily, nosing his way under Fili’s shirt to nibble at the join of his neck and shoulder, going immediately for the spot he knew Fili loved.  Fili was writhing under his ministrations by now, breath coming sharper and skin heating against Kili’s lips.  Fingers came up slowly to Fili’s other shoulder, seeking to run nails over the same spot on that side.  Instead, he felt Fili still abruptly as he encountered the worst of the damage.

He’d thought the worst must have been in the long claw marks.  He was wrong.

Fili’s right shoulder was a pulp of flesh and skin, no bone or muscle identifiable in the knots and taut cords of scar tissue.  Kili lifted his mouth from his brother’s skin, burying his nose in Fili’s hair, unconsciously comforting himself as he explored the wound with gentle finger pads.  It really was a miracle Fili retained any movement or feeling in his right arm at all, given that the muscles of the shoulder were in shreds.

It was probably a bite, a tearing ripping bite to the muscle of his shoulder, immobilizing him so the claws could come into play.  Kili took a deep breath, still nosed into Fili’s hair, clenching his eyes shut as he fought down his own grief and guilt.  _Later.  You can fall apart later.  Right now, only Fili matters._   He turned and pushed at Fili’s shirt with his nose again, until he could mouth at the very edge of the scar.

“Perfect, brave Fee,” he mumbled into his brother’s shoulder.  “Strong and perfect and brave.”

Fili huffed, though he was tense again as Kili gently touched over every inch of the wound.  “We still need to work on your vocabulary, brother.”

Kili bit a little harder at the skin in retaliation to the teasing, and an idea struck him.  He dropped his hands to Fili’s waist again, pulling his brother back into a roll of his hips, grinding his obvious arousal against him.  “You can feel how much I want you, can’t you Fili?”

His only answer was a groan, as Fili pushed back against him, rocking his own hips gently.

Kili pushed his nose farther into Fili’s shirt, nipping at the scar itself and flicking his tongue out over it.  Fili squirmed at the unfamiliar sensation, head tilting to the other side.  The archer laved every inch he could reach with his tongue, shivering himself as Fili started to whine low in his throat.  Only then he pulled back, pressing his teeth beside the wound and sucking a dark mark in the tan skin there.  Fili groaned and shuddered.

“I wanna see you, Fili,” Kili said, words slurred by the skin in his mouth.  “Wanna see you, wanna mark you, wanna make you mine again.”

Fili hesitated for an endless moment, staring ahead, expression unreadable from Kili’s angle.  Kili didn’t interrupt him; if Fili wanted to stop, if he wanted Kili to take him now and go farther with the scars later, Kili would do it.  He was already feeling better for at least having explored by touch, no longer feeling like part of his brother’s body was unexplored territory.  However, he did want to see, and more importantly, to claim, so badly.

Finally, Fili nodded.  He slumped backward against Kili, as if with that final leap of faith all the fight had gone out of him, craning his head around to beg wordlessly for a kiss.  Kili granted it, growling low as he clung tight to his brother, lining himself along Fili’s back until there was nothing between them but those pesky shirts.

Kili lost patience far faster than Fili, and pulled away from the kiss with a whine of loss, scrambling around to kneel between Fili’s legs.  He crushed his lips to his brother’s again, Fili’s hands coming up to brace on his shoulders as he yanked frantically at the ties of Fili’s shirt.  He had them undone in record speed, though he couldn’t remove the shirt without breaking the kiss.

It was Fili who gave up, pulling his head back and nearly tearing off his own shirt before his fingers were creeping up under Kili’s.  Kili lifted his arms, allowing his own clothes to be yanked off before he pulled away, bracing Fili back as he looked him over.

The long claw marks were deep and angry red, even this long after healing.  The mass of scar tissue on his shoulder was mottled red and white, an ugly V-shape of tattered muscle and gaping open holes covered by still-thin new skin.  Doubtless the healers had been more concerned with keeping the wounds open and drained rather than ensuring that they healed prettily.

Kili reached out to touch the long scars, watching with fascination the way the skin paled under the lightest pressure of his fingers.  Part of him hated seeing the scars, hated the reminder of just how close he’d come to losing his brother, his everything.  Another part of him gave a pleasurable shiver at the sight.  With his hard muscles and new scars Fili looked every inch the warrior.  More than that, he looked older, more adult.  Even _dangerous_.

He didn’t even realize that his mouth had dropped open until Fili reached out with a wild laugh, pulling him in by a grip on his hair.  “You’re doing the stunned look again,” he whispered, sounding almost disbelieving before he plundered Kili’s willing mouth with his tongue.  Kili ‘mmph’ed and refused to give, scooting forward to grind his hips into Fili’s, groaning at the obvious bulge in Fili’s trousers.

“Still worried I don’t want you?”  Kili asked breathlessly, pulling away and dropping his head to sink teeth lightly into the right side of Fili’s neck.  Fili grumbled something unintelligible and nudged at him, apparently wanting attention focused somewhere other than his wounds.  Kili reached up to tug lightly at the long tail at the left side of Fili’s mouth.  “Not done proving it yet.  Patience.”

Fili didn’t comment on the irony of Kili telling anyone to have patience, growling as he continued to push his hands at his brother’s chest.  Kili tolerated it for a moment, before running clawed fingers along the very edge of the larger scar.  Fili gasped, head falling forward onto Kili’s shoulder.

“I told you I want to mark you,” Kili murmured, trailing his mouth around to Fili’s upper arm and biting there.  “You’re mine, and I want you to know that.  I want everyone to know that.”

“Everyone already knows that,” Fili said breathlessly, hands dropping to brace himself upright as Kili ran nails down the other side of the claw marks, nearly hard enough to draw blood.

“But I want them to _see,_ ” Kili insisted, pulling away to lick at the crescent of teeth-marks he’d left.  “You should see yourself Fili.  You look like a fighter.  My brother, my prince.  Strong and brave and wonderful.  I’ve missed you so much, and I love you so much, and I want you to take me now.”

 Fili _growled_ at that, surging up under him to flip them over, pinning Kili’s hands above his head and crushing their lips together hard enough to bruise.  Kili whined, bucking his hips up into his brother’s, arousal spiking so sharply it took him by surprise.

“You’re sure?” Fili asked, pulling away slightly to look at him searchingly.

Kili yanked against the hold on his wrists, finding that even with only one fully functional arm Fili was certainly strong enough to hold him down with the right leverage.  Of course Fili would still hesitate, always second-guessing.  “Of course I’m sure.  I’ve always known what I want and that’s always been you.  You’re perfect, and nothing will change that.  Stop acting like I’m going to run to someone else because of some scars.  I love them, because I love you and always will no matter what happens now _fuck me_!”

Fili let him up with another bruising, forceful kiss, reaching for the cabinet at Kili’s side of the bed and fumbling for the oil they kept there.  Kili watched him with fascination, loving the way skin and scars shifted over muscle, the way he compensated for his clumsy right arm.  He was achingly hard, and reached down to adjust himself in the confines of his breeches.  Fili’s own trousers were already loose, and Kili’s mouth watered as he eyed the outline through the fabric.  Before he could make any move Fili was back, hovering over him, pulling at Kili’s lacings, panting into his mouth.

Kili keened beneath him, over-sensitized and overwhelmed.  He raised his hands to Fili’s sides, running them up and down and simply reveling in the delicious skin-to-skin contact.  “I love you, Fili.  Always have always will.  Love your skin and love your scars and love it—“ he broke off with a loud cry as Fili’s fingers finally curled around his cock “—love it when you touch me, _Fili!_ ”

He knew he was babbling, that he was probably slurring a bit and not making much sense, but Fili didn’t seem to mind.  At Kili’s keen of his name the elder let out a groan and buried his face in Kili’s shoulder, fingers squeezing slightly.  Kili reached down to tug Fili’s breeches off his hips, letting out another loud cry when their erections slotted together. 

Fili tried to silence him with a kiss, and Kili turned his head away.  “I want you to hear me.  I want you to hear what you do to me,” he whispered, craning up off the bed to nip at Fili’s earlobe.  “You know no one else can hear us.  The walls are too thick.  And if they weren’t, I wouldn’t care.”

His brother didn’t respond to that, but he didn’t try to silence Kili again.  He focused his attention instead on Kili’s neck, just below his ear.  By now they both knew each other’s pleasure points as well as they knew their own, and Kili writhed as Fili set about proving he hadn’t forgotten anything in the last year.

His hands skimmed down, pausing at his nipples but mostly bypassing them.  He’d never been as sensitive there as Fili was.  Fili focused instead on his hips, tracing the same line down the creases that Kili had earlier.  However, while Fili was ticklish there, Kili arched into the touch with a whimper. 

“Fili, please, more!” he asked, or rather, demanded despite the polite words.  He could see the way Fili’s lips quirked at that; his brother had always liked him to beg, which wasn’t something that came naturally to spoiled Kili.  They had settled on this compromise of Kili tempering his petulant demands with “please”.

And how was Fili to resist when he asked so nicely?  He drew Kili into another searing kiss as he released Kili’s cock, fumbling with both hands for the oil he had dropped heedlessly beside them.  Kili hissed his pleasure at what he knew was coming, lifting his legs from the bed to give Fili easier access.  The piney scent of their oil, the same as they’d always used, filled the air as Fili accidentally dribbled some over Kili’s stomach, tipping the vial into one hand before capping it and tossing it to the side again.  Kili reached up and worked his fingers into Fili’s hair, holding him in the kiss as both of them shifted to allow Fili to reach around and between Kili’s legs.

The first breach of Fili’s slicked finger was a pinch of pain, Kili’s body virgin-tight again after so long.  Kili whined into his brother’s mouth, holding him still with clenched fingers and reaching down with his other hand to toy with Fili’s nipple again before running over the undamaged portion of his chest, rough skin catching at the short strands of hair.  He smiled against Fili’s lips, and the blond pulled away to quirk an eyebrow at him.

“You have more of a beard than I do, but at least I have more hair here,” Kili teased, tugging at the short curls in question.

“Hush up,” Fili rolled his eyes, gently removing the single finger from Kili’s hole and using his other hand to pin Kili’s hips to the bed as the younger writhed in protest.  “Done teasing?” he asked smugly, pressing lightly just above Kili’s entrance, swallowing Kili’s keening complaints.

“I thought I was in charge here,” Kili grumbled, trying to shift his hips up enough to regain Fili’s touch.

“You said you want me to take you, and so I will,” Fili pointed out, voice shaking slightly as he gave in to the insistent movements and slid his finger back into clutching heat.  Kili’s head arched back with something like a howl as Fili brushed that spot inside him, completely by accident.   His fingers dug into Fili’s hips where the blond still hovered over him, clenching and unclenching around that finger.  He ignored the slight pain, knowing that the faster he was stretched the sooner Fili would fuck him. 

Fili pushed against the slowly yielding muscle, watching Kili’s face intently for the slightest sign of discomfort.  As he added a second finger, scissoring against the resistance, Kili couldn’t stop a small wince that crossed his face.  He hadn’t been stretched like this in months and even the burn of arousal in his gut couldn’t completely overcome the sting.  Fili made to pull away, and Kili squirmed until he managed to flip both of them over and straddle Fili’s hips.

“Don’t you dare,” he panted, attacking Fili’s neck and littering bites and bruises over the sensitive skin.  “You’re not stopping now.  Want you need you so bad.”

Fili groaned in response, adding a third finger a bit too soon.  Kili fought back a whimper, head dropping forward and hair brushing over Fili’s chest.  He felt so wonderfully full, despite the pain, and now Fili was shifting, seeking out that gland within him and nudging it teasingly as he worked to spread his fingers.  Kili keened, blinking through the haze of pleasure and recapturing Fili’s lips.  Only for a second though, as he soon broke the kiss to bite at the scar on Fili’s shoulder.

The sudden sensation had the swordsman yelping out loud, and his fingers stabbed hard into Kili in a heady mix of pleasure and pain.  Kili froze for a moment, rendered speechless until the stars faded from his vision.  When his head stopped spinning, returning to the general fog of lust his wordless whines turned into babbling.  “Perfect Fili, perfect prince, all of you is so amazing, ready for you now now now!”

Fili gasped and hastily withdrew his fingers, Kili whimpering at the sudden emptiness.  He sat up to grind against Fili’s hard erection, reaching and fumbling for the vial of oil.  Fili gripped his hips and held him still, clearly fighting the urge to thrust home immediately.  Kili spilled even more of the oil in his haste, filling one palm and tossing the glass container to the floor without even bothering to close it.  He spread the accidental drops absently over Fili’s stomach and scars with his free hand, mouth watering at the way his brother’s skin glistened.  Rather than following the urge to lean over, lick and suck and bite over Fili’s entire torso he scooted back, freeing Fili’s hips and wrapping his slippery hand around the very tip of his cock.

Fili mewled gratifyingly, bucking up into Kili’s grip, spreading the oil down his shaft.  Kili grinned, watching him, enjoying a favorite trick he hadn’t been able to indulge in before.  Eventually he judged that Fili’s wild thrusts had slicked his cock enough, and released his hold to Fili’s groan of disappointment.  The shift up Fili’s body was utterly graceless, but ended with Kili kneeling, straddling Fili’s waist and reaching down between his own legs to guide Fili’s tip into him, and pressing down gently.

Both of them let out quickly stifled gasps at the slow intrusion, Kili lowering himself gently down until he was seated completely, eyes clenching shut.  Pain clawed up from the base of his spine, a sharp agony competing with the sensation of _so much, so good, so full._   Fili whimpered something completely unintelligible, aside from the last word, “— _tight!_ ”.

A tiny, aborted thrust felt like jolt of fire up Kili’s back, and he gritted his teeth against the burn.  “Hold still!   Hold still,” he gasped out, and Fili froze immediately.  Kili shifted tentatively, biting his lip as he canted his hips, seeking the right angle.  It’s more painful than usual, the tightness and urgency of too long without forcing Kili to move slow, despite every instinct that demanded he bounce on Fili’s lap, on Fili’s cock, ride him until his brother comes inside him…

The pain slowly receded with each rock of Kili’s hips, fractionally giving way to pleasure.  Then finally, _finally_ he found just the right angle, body jerking with a shout as Fili’s cock brushed his prostate.  Fili’s limbs were shaking with the effort of keeping himself still, fingers clenching convulsively in the bedclothes and knees drawing up as he braced himself.

The long keen Kili let out vaguely resembled Fili’s name, as the archer lifted himself off Fili’s hips and trembled at the delicious drag of friction within him.  He pushed down again hard enough to set the mattress bouncing, both of them groaning.  Fili’s hands came up to grip hard at Kili’s hipbones, clutching hard enough to leave livid marks.  Kili braced his hands on Fili’s shoulders as he bounced again, settling quickly into a rhythm.  Fili met his thrusts in perfect time, not needing words to know Kili was ready for him.

“So perfect, Fili, so perfect and handsome and beautiful and amazing!”  The words were slurred and near drowned in moans and whines as Kili voiced his pleasure at every brush of Fili’s cock inside him.  Fili heaved himself up until they were pressed chest-to-chest, capturing Kili’s mouth and working it open with his tongue.

Already the dizzy tingling heat was rising in Kili, and he could tell from Fili’s harsh panting that he was close as well.  He pulled Fili closer, leaving dark scratch marks over his back and shoulders.  Kili’s cock was pressed between their bodies, thrusts slicked by spilled oil and sweat and smeared precome. 

He wasn’t entirely sure when his muffled incomplete praises and exclamations devolved into small wordless cries.  He certainly _did_ notice the moment that his voice gave out on him completely, and his eyes rolled back at the pleasure.  Clamping his legs around Fili’s waist he tried to hold back, hold still, pleading soundlessly.  Fili refused to comply, using his grip on Kili’s hips to adjust the angle until he slid in even deeper with each rapid thrust.

Kili’s mouth gaped in a soundless keen at the change, muscles clenching involuntarily and head arching back.  Of course Fili immediately latched onto the considerately offered flesh of his neck.  “I’m close, Kee,” he groaned, breath coming harsher and louder as he sucked a dark bruise into Kili’s throat.

Kili wanted to tell him that he was close as well, how much he loved Fili, how good it felt to be fucked after so long, but all that he could manage was a strangled whine.  Fili leaned up, gripping Kili’s hair and _pulling_ as he devoured him in another frantic kiss.

That toppled Kili over the edge, a loud broken wail escaping from the brunet’s throat as he bucked through his orgasm, painting his own chest and Fili’s abdomen with white stripes.   Fili’s thrusts turned uneven and almost savage in their strength and his jaw clenched as he came, soundlessly as always, wet heat splashing up inside his brother.  Kili quivered in aftershocks, feeling Fili’s cock throbbing within him and squirming, writhing at the sensation.

For several long moments neither of them spoke or moved, chests heaving as they tried to catch their breath.  Finally Kili leaned down to catch Fili’s lips in a sloppy, lazy kiss.  Fili seemed even less inclined to move than he was, and slowly tipped backward until they were lying on the bed instead, Kili wincing a bit as swiftly cooling come was spread over his front.  Fili’s softening cock slipped out of him in the motion, and both of them let out small broken chuckles at the sound it made.  Kili returned to light chaste kisses to Fili’s mouth.  Fili’s reactions were slow, almost drunken, and his reciprocating kisses missed more often than they connected.  Kili teased him, making Fili chase his lips until Fili groaned and dropped his head back to the blanket, surrendering.

The blond’s shaking slowly eased, though it returned when Kili’s hands drifted to his scars again.  Kili made small shushing noises, tracing over the bite until he found a pattern that felt right to him.  He laid his head down on Fili’s other shoulder, ignoring the ridges and gouges under his cheek.

“I missed you, brother,” he whispered at last, pulling away until he could watch Fili’s face. 

The elder looked completely contented, eyes slightly crossed so he could meet Kili’s gaze.  “I never went anywhere,” he pointed out.

“Yes you did,” Kili corrected, punctuating each word with a kiss.  “I missed you, my perfect golden prince.”

**Author's Note:**

> Deepest apologies to all my readers, this plotmonster is why I haven't been publishing anything lately. Now that it's done I'm back to Heart and Soul!


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